Jared’s First Dozen-or-so Tweets

So GD quaint.

I love that for the better part of those first few weeks he was really trying to grasp what to use Twitter for – as we all were during those early days – like basically turning Twitter into a “where you at?”, “you up?”, messageboard.

Also adorable are some of those RT and Fave totals. Now a days, a cereal selfie (a cerealfie(?)) would probably garner like 2k+ faves and at least 1200 RTs. But back then? 12. And considering it’s like almost 6 years old I’m sure some of those RTs happened years after it went out.

Finally, the started from the bottom now we here moment: the replies. While his @-totals are off the chain all day, erry day now, it’s so bonkers to think of a time where there was legit only 1 reply to a tweet. ONE. Or, even crazier: none.

Sometimes I find myself so lamenting those early days – when twitter was legit a way to have have a dialogue with someone, someone even famous with a following – someone you admired or were intrigued by. Someone you would likely never be able to chat with otherwise – here you were, able to talk directly to them. Be heard. Initiate a discussion.

And his fun, spontaneous little blurb-tweets end up being way more memorable than anything else; the authenticity of his own weird, non-sequitur-ridden voice on Twitter is why you want to follow him and keep following him.

Let’s try to not drive him to abandon his Twitter altogether, leaving it in custody of bot-Jared over this sillyshit. I legit don’t know if I could handle bot-Jared bot-tweeting us 24/7; like all we’d get would be tweets of snaps from a couple days ago that we already all shared a couple days ago. It would be a barren wasteland of outdated material sourced from elsewhere regurgitated on Twitter.

The thought alone makes me want to cry forevs.
Won’t someone think of the children*?!?1!?1!?!!



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